"Teacher can i give up?", ask Hazeeq to me. "NO", i firmly replied him. Now these echoing back to me, i feel like crying.
I feel so powerless and useless. The students won't listen to me. I feel the same like Hazeeq. I want to ask the same question. "Can i give up?" But i myself answered No to my student. How could i possibly say Yes to myself. If i give up, how about my students?
I told Hazeeq, "see? You got it all correct. It's just that you need to continue working on it until finish. I know you can". Right BACK at my face.
Feeling so disappointed with myself today. Indeed if you fail to plan, then you plan to fail. *cry*
-yanaliyana-
Thursday 18 February 2016
Monday 15 February 2016
Do i like changing?
Going to Wetworld Shah Alam last Tuesday (school holiday) does not only gave me sunburn, but a big thing to ponder. From the almost whole day activity, i learn about myself from other people, as well as realizing shifting occurred in my current life.
So the thing is, we were there, 4 of us. Exclude mum and kakngah who wait outside, there were ayah, kakcik, Elsa and me. Rm25 for adult. Woah at the price. Since this place has been (long before) annual playground to my brother and me, we could see the price hike! Elsa got free entrance because she is below 90cm.
The precious piece of info dad gave to me that day was "it was easy to handle you in here. If you are to play at a place, you'll stay there. No changing place. I could watch over you easily because you didn't go anywhere". My replied to dad was "l'm still the same, dad".
Because Elsa was very different. She easily distracted with the higher level pool (she is a head-only walking baby in pool. Seriously she just walk in the pool on her own. Nope, no help is allowed, say the baby). She moved everywhere she wants, not staying at one place for a long time.
So that was it. I'm still keeping the habit. I like to stay at one place for a long time. I like to get comfortable. Safe-zone. But lately, things aren't in that order. I keep on my toes most of the time, because i couldn't get certainties that i can stay in one place for long. *sad*
But i know it's Allah's plan to teach me lessons of life. I can't stay forever in one place. I need to keep moving, keep experiencing, keep growing. Inside out.
And what i realized, watching over Elsa playing in water for 5 hours, i think i won't enjoy my surroundings much when i have a kid. Hahahahaha. For 5 hours straight, my eyes were always on Elsa. 95% of time. The water slides are cool, but Elsa still took my line of sight. Nothing beats the baby-boss.
That's all for 1 week holiday. Elsa was the focus. Till next time kid. -yanaliyana
Tuesday 2 February 2016
Henley Hii 許亮宇 Meet-The-Fans event Jan 2016
Henley. Last i met him was last year..somewhere in March? This is only the 2nd time i met him.
I wasn't telling anyone i'm going because i'm not sure myself. Plus i had few obstacles regarding moving to new rented house. And niece and nephew at home. All on same day.
So i was late leaving home. Around 2.15. Reach KL for only 45min is impossible (fastest would be 1 hour, that, only stepping into KL, not going to Times Square for example, plus 30mins thanks to traffic). So i drove, left my car at kl sentral and took train to TS. By that time, it was already 3.20pm. Event stated starts at 3pm.
I run to info desk, asked where is boulevard, and head out. I saw Peace Teo 1st (i don't know why i can't see Henley straightaway eventhough he's just besides Peace. They just finished playing game round 1 i think, because fans were still on stage that time.
Peace continue with interviewing Henley and of course i can't understand anything. On to Take Me Home song (yeah i realized i missed Second Chance song). I sang along. I LOVE HENLEY SINGING IT LIVE!
After that, short talk, then Peace said something about vip pass. I saw others raising up theirs, so i just raised up mine. Then Henley saw me and pointed to me (i was standing behind media area, where there's no people besides me,the other fans were crowding on left side of stage -i was in the middle-)
I only understand Henley directed me to left side of stage,i just followed, without much thinking. Then i heard Tingting scream my name, i saw Kiki Junee too.. i was jumping and -screaming and- hugging I WAS SO GLAD I MEET THEM. Also Phooihan too.
But only after that tingting told me "Yana go, they call you on stage" me Whatttt?? So Henley actually picked me for 2nd game, i don't even know until tinting told me. Blank as usual, i go upstage not sure of anything.
I keep exchanging glances and body languages with tingting and june because i don't know how to react nor understand whats going on (tinting complaint later about lacks of translation when i was up on stage). I was actually scared inside because i don't know what type of game will be played. So Peace tell the rules of game, and asked 'ming bai ma?' Me: wo bu ming bai.. and AFTER THAT he translate to me.
The game is to collect stickers with points, sticks all over Henley's shirt -and shoes- between 3 fans. Game begins. I was actually having mindset of wanting to WIN, so i tried to collect as much as i can while keep saying sorry to Henley, i dunno if it tickles him or anything, i just don't think much and just grab the stickers.
While counting the total points, Peace asked me: how do you feel playing this game with Henley? Me: ummm nervous. Peace: that's all? Me: and happy...? (Otl Peace what answer you would expect? Honestly i don't really feel anything)
Later, Peace announced the 3rd place, me and another fan up for final winner. I wish it's me. And it really IS. I WON!!! I clapped my hands in slow motion, trying to suppress my jumping mode. But then,
I don't know what's going on. The staffs saying something, so i'm still not the winner. Ok. They ask the 2 others to sing, but they didn't. So Peace asked me last: do you want to dedicate song to Henley? Any song, your favourite song, even Malay song...
I was keep thinking Take Me Home song, but i can't remember how the song started, i only can remember 2nd verse "i woke up today, and found that you're gone.." which would sound so wrong. Mungkin Nanti song also jumbled up inside my head. End up i said to Peace: wait ya let me think 1st.. which got Peace: ok then we drink coffee 1st LOL!
Later tingting told me that actually the other 2 fans were given #secondchance but they didn't take it. So i stay as the winner. And. I GOT A HUGE BEAR!!!! (And calendar -which i already put on my desk at my workplace- , and VIXX album too -so random, but i understand, it's PMP-) HUGE BEAR!!! Henley has no problem holding it but after he passed it to me, you almost can't see me. It's so huge! Then took polaroid with Henley (which i love the outcome so much).
Then continue with 3rd song (i know the song but i don't remember the title, both chinese and eng, but i almost memorized whole song). Sang along with tinting hugging the bear (she's so obsessed with it haha!) junee busy with camera and giving flower to Henley onstage.
Next fansign session. Sometimes in the middle, Henley spoke (using mic) about someone's sister and we realized it's Fai's sis. Later Junee call her "Fai's sister!" which sounds funny at that time given the situation. Hmm it's quite a messy time during our time to go sign,
my part, Henley write my name, while spelling out my name aloud "Y.A.N.A right?" Just like how he used to do when we 1st met hihiii got me giggling inside. Henley thanked me so sincere, for coming to support him.
Downstairs, me and tinting played around with the bear, took lots of selca together. After some times, me and tinting stands infront of the bear, staring at it hard when Junee asked "what r u guys doing?" Me: tinting and i thinking a name to give him. Tinting lastly come up with Xiao H, as they know me as XiaoYan. So until now we (and everybody else including Henley himself) called it XiaoH.
Event ended.
P/S: i think Henley sing another 1 song before i went up stage? I remember singing along and did hand movement following the song, but i can't remember which one. I already repeat all the songs in Take Me Home CD for more than a month. Frequently. Can't remember which one.)
The rest? Tinting looks like a crazy kid obsessed with the huge bear, hugging it around, no worries of people staring. It's a crowded mall on weekend ok. And the scenes where XiaoH become passenger in car. So cute we put seatbelt on him.
Now XiaoH becomes my favorite hugging partner, while i cry and happy. Can't thank Henley more. This is such a precious present for me, you don't know how much it means to me. Thank youuuuu Henley. -yana
I wasn't telling anyone i'm going because i'm not sure myself. Plus i had few obstacles regarding moving to new rented house. And niece and nephew at home. All on same day.
So i was late leaving home. Around 2.15. Reach KL for only 45min is impossible (fastest would be 1 hour, that, only stepping into KL, not going to Times Square for example, plus 30mins thanks to traffic). So i drove, left my car at kl sentral and took train to TS. By that time, it was already 3.20pm. Event stated starts at 3pm.
I run to info desk, asked where is boulevard, and head out. I saw Peace Teo 1st (i don't know why i can't see Henley straightaway eventhough he's just besides Peace. They just finished playing game round 1 i think, because fans were still on stage that time.
Peace continue with interviewing Henley and of course i can't understand anything. On to Take Me Home song (yeah i realized i missed Second Chance song). I sang along. I LOVE HENLEY SINGING IT LIVE!
After that, short talk, then Peace said something about vip pass. I saw others raising up theirs, so i just raised up mine. Then Henley saw me and pointed to me (i was standing behind media area, where there's no people besides me,the other fans were crowding on left side of stage -i was in the middle-)
I only understand Henley directed me to left side of stage,i just followed, without much thinking. Then i heard Tingting scream my name, i saw Kiki Junee too.. i was jumping and -screaming and- hugging I WAS SO GLAD I MEET THEM. Also Phooihan too.
But only after that tingting told me "Yana go, they call you on stage" me Whatttt?? So Henley actually picked me for 2nd game, i don't even know until tinting told me. Blank as usual, i go upstage not sure of anything.
I keep exchanging glances and body languages with tingting and june because i don't know how to react nor understand whats going on (tinting complaint later about lacks of translation when i was up on stage). I was actually scared inside because i don't know what type of game will be played. So Peace tell the rules of game, and asked 'ming bai ma?' Me: wo bu ming bai.. and AFTER THAT he translate to me.
The game is to collect stickers with points, sticks all over Henley's shirt -and shoes- between 3 fans. Game begins. I was actually having mindset of wanting to WIN, so i tried to collect as much as i can while keep saying sorry to Henley, i dunno if it tickles him or anything, i just don't think much and just grab the stickers.
While counting the total points, Peace asked me: how do you feel playing this game with Henley? Me: ummm nervous. Peace: that's all? Me: and happy...? (Otl Peace what answer you would expect? Honestly i don't really feel anything)
Later, Peace announced the 3rd place, me and another fan up for final winner. I wish it's me. And it really IS. I WON!!! I clapped my hands in slow motion, trying to suppress my jumping mode. But then,
I don't know what's going on. The staffs saying something, so i'm still not the winner. Ok. They ask the 2 others to sing, but they didn't. So Peace asked me last: do you want to dedicate song to Henley? Any song, your favourite song, even Malay song...
I was keep thinking Take Me Home song, but i can't remember how the song started, i only can remember 2nd verse "i woke up today, and found that you're gone.." which would sound so wrong. Mungkin Nanti song also jumbled up inside my head. End up i said to Peace: wait ya let me think 1st.. which got Peace: ok then we drink coffee 1st LOL!
Later tingting told me that actually the other 2 fans were given #secondchance but they didn't take it. So i stay as the winner. And. I GOT A HUGE BEAR!!!! (And calendar -which i already put on my desk at my workplace- , and VIXX album too -so random, but i understand, it's PMP-) HUGE BEAR!!! Henley has no problem holding it but after he passed it to me, you almost can't see me. It's so huge! Then took polaroid with Henley (which i love the outcome so much).
Then continue with 3rd song (i know the song but i don't remember the title, both chinese and eng, but i almost memorized whole song). Sang along with tinting hugging the bear (she's so obsessed with it haha!) junee busy with camera and giving flower to Henley onstage.
Next fansign session. Sometimes in the middle, Henley spoke (using mic) about someone's sister and we realized it's Fai's sis. Later Junee call her "Fai's sister!" which sounds funny at that time given the situation. Hmm it's quite a messy time during our time to go sign,
my part, Henley write my name, while spelling out my name aloud "Y.A.N.A right?" Just like how he used to do when we 1st met hihiii got me giggling inside. Henley thanked me so sincere, for coming to support him.
Downstairs, me and tinting played around with the bear, took lots of selca together. After some times, me and tinting stands infront of the bear, staring at it hard when Junee asked "what r u guys doing?" Me: tinting and i thinking a name to give him. Tinting lastly come up with Xiao H, as they know me as XiaoYan. So until now we (and everybody else including Henley himself) called it XiaoH.
Event ended.
P/S: i think Henley sing another 1 song before i went up stage? I remember singing along and did hand movement following the song, but i can't remember which one. I already repeat all the songs in Take Me Home CD for more than a month. Frequently. Can't remember which one.)
The rest? Tinting looks like a crazy kid obsessed with the huge bear, hugging it around, no worries of people staring. It's a crowded mall on weekend ok. And the scenes where XiaoH become passenger in car. So cute we put seatbelt on him.
Now XiaoH becomes my favorite hugging partner, while i cry and happy. Can't thank Henley more. This is such a precious present for me, you don't know how much it means to me. Thank youuuuu Henley. -yana
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