What's happening to education field? T~T

It's 2015, month of April, but so little update. Not that I'm not loving writing, but once I'm on it, it took hours for just 5-minutes reading. Anyway, 16th April. A day of tragedy for me in 2015.

Question, simple. Why? Why do you do it? I can't understand the act. Should i ask? Yes. Then why not asking? Because i still couldn't bear the consequences. Hence the weak me. Allah is Almighty, may He gives me strength.

16th April 2014 was the South Korea Sewol ferry tragedy. And today become a tragedy in my own history of studying, particularly my practicum era. Burdened, heavy, crying heart. I think it's been long since i let my heart cried instead of real crying. It happened at school.

Arrived in the morning, as usual every Thursday we have Yasin recitation. After that there were Action Song & Public Speaking performances as a practice for upcoming pertandingan. And the kids' crowd was so SO loud. Not of cheering, but of talking. Normal, seen by the school or teachers. But not for us, practicum partners, for me at least.

Talking while other people is talking/giving out speech is rude. It's adab, manner, to listen to others talking. Respect. What happened in the school is students keep talking when there's person infront talking too. A mess. Teachers would just let out a shout or two, then students would keep quiet for a moment, then goes the bee-hives sound again.

I had to tell every cell in my body to stay seated and not throwing fit/things to these students. Not 1/2 or 10, 98% were talking. I'm not blaming students, cause they might not know it's wrong. It's the bad culture in this school. Talking non-stop. Worse: nobody fixing it. As far as i see.

 1 of the teacher said "amboi handphone sorang satu" could means every teacher is too fixed on their phone during the performance. So much of manners too, heh, instead of advising the students to stay quiet. Smh. I resisted myself from glancing at the back because i worried i might jeling them.

That's the 1st scene. Managed to calm myself down, continue on my teaching aids in teachers' room. Another scene. A bad one. To the extent of if i take video of it, i think it could be viral and going to cause commotion if uploaded on media. Trying not to back-biting, but as a self-reminder for me in future. It goes..

I heard the noise of teachers repeating word of 'patung'. I lifted up my head from too focusing on my TA, then i watched what was going on. A teacher punished a student by making him stand for long time, standing still there. A punishment for not doing the homework. 1st i thought it was fine, it was normal. Then come the bad parts.

 The teacher was playing jokes on the student. Let alone not allowing the student to go back to class to continue his learning. The 'playing jokes' part was joined by other teachers. They laughed at him. Not enough with that, they made him hold a flower, stand behind other teacher ,stay standing still,not moving, unless he say 'i love you' to other teachers. More jokes being played. The teacher suddenly directed the student to stand behind my friend, which was helping me on my TA just besides me. That students clearly feels so ashamed. Or maybe insulted.

A punishment is not wrong. But you know what? The student is not doing the homework not because of he didn't want to. HE IS JUST A SLOW LEARNER BECAUSE HE WAS INVOLVED IN AN ACCIDENT. AND HE IS LABELED AS LAZY BY THAT TEACHER.

Does the teacher knows that? I don't know. But does she asked? Yes. But the student didn't answer. Eager to find the root problem ? (cause i clearly heard she said that the student never do the works she gave, everytime) Eager? Nope. Labelling student as lazy and scolding them are easier. Add humiliation to that. And jokes on student. Wow. Thank you. You lose all my respect.

Which theory did you use to behave students, may i ask? Our Prophet? I don't think so..Western philosopher's theories? As of now i didn't read/find any. I pity that student so much. More when we know why he didn't do his homework. You might just made a student hate a teacher. Or giving him reason to Not go to school. He's also in my friends' class, but they said he never left homework they gave, unfinished. He is well-manner student. So where's the problem come from? I think you can solve the math easily.

I was shaking at that time, cause i need to hold my tears and rage inside. I had to bite inside when other teachers adding jokes and humiliate student more, not even a single teacher stopping the act. They LAUGHED. What's happening with the education world these days?

I ponder. I feel sad. Cause i can't do anything about it at that time. I asked Allah to give me strength to atleast voice it out to higher ups so that they know about this scene. If Allah asked: Yana you see it's wrong. Where's your dakwah? Where's your attempt to stop this wrongdoing? I wish i can come up with the answers then.

Just why? What's the significance of humiliating or punished student that way when there's more better ways? I pray they will soon realized it...

Melaka: An escapee UNPLANNED version.

Melaka: An escapee UNPLANNED version.

Melaka was such a fun trip. It was a rushed plan. I didn't really make plan, but my aim was 1 :

Eco Walk For Life (donation for leukemia kids)

the Eco Walk For Life event.

Last time i've been in Melaka with my family, it was so LONG ago. Maybe in my primary school? I've never join them going to A'Famosa few times. Perk of being in boarding school. So it just took 1 day for me to decide to go, taking night bus trip from Sg.Petani to Melaka. This time the ticket price was RM53. From 12 am in SP, we reached Melaka at 7am (should be earlier,but heck bus waited for someone in KL for an hour!) Funny part of this was: i thought i rode a bus with the same driver last time i went back to Kulim. The not-so-sane driver.

That infamous photo-spot

while waking through the participants' route

7am at Melaka Central, refreshed, 7.30am we rode local bus to Dataran Pahlawan. No kidding we didn't even know how Dataran Pahlawan looks like, end up get off from the bus few hundred meters away from our destination. We're already late as registration already closed for the event when we arrived. Quite disappointed, but we took free choco drink from tesco booth to compensate HAHA. Since we have plenty of time, we decided to just walk with the flow, see where it could lead us. We walked with 'beca' infront of us. So long since i saw one. Now they become more trendy and not only 'driven' by old uncles. So we walked, pretending as tourist (we WERE TOURISTS).

Melaka river

Jonker Gallery at Jonker Street

Taman Warisan Dunia (still didn't open at this time)

mini-cooper!! i love the colour @ Jonker Street

a still-not-open shop @ Jonker Street

Passed Sungai Melaka (the colour..wow me is speechless). Taking photos of morning sceneries. We walked through Jonker Street, with smells of coffee huhu. At Jonker Streets too, we walked through lines of antique stuffs being sold. Most are by uncles in mid 50s or something. 1st my friend stopped for an old english book (as bookworm as she is, she even finished reading it after few hours), where she got it for RM3.

Doraemon comic! nostalgic!

old money @ Jonker Street

Then we were greeted by an uncle saying a usual line "oh i waited you since yesterday, why you only come now?" to random people walking in front of his place. HAHA. My friend stopped to check his painting, end up he explained enthusiastically about his painting. I'm amazed at how detailed it is despite the small frame of painting. And the special thing about his painting is: you won't see anything at 1st glance but when you're looking at it longer, the picture appears,looking alive.

My friend talks a lot with uncle. Being the quiet me (and less proficiency in English) i stood besides my friend agreed to things and add up where i should. Amazing thing happened when the uncle asked my friend "your name? Syarifah?" and left my friend dumbfounded. We never told him about her name, nor it is written anywhere. THAT UNCLE KNOWS HER NAME ON A 1ST GUESS. How did he knew? Only Allah knows how. He said something about being blessed by gift. I just smile about this. Subhanallah, Allah gives whatever He wanted to give to His creation. So uncle gave my friends little souvenirs, and i got 1 too (of his paintings). My friend bought one of his painting. We bid uncle goodbye and continue our journey.

by Melaka River side

A hotel besides Melaka River

We walked the other way and reached the river-side. We walked along it, expecting it was not that far, but regretted it after about 10 minutes. IT'S FREAKING FAR TRYING TO CROSS THE RIVER. IT'S ALMOST TILL THE END. Our feet starts to aches, more to me cause i was wearing heeled shoes. Plus it's getting hot at 10am+, but to do u-turn was too late. We're greeted by other tourists too, and we're being friendly towards locals. Hiii-ing and Good Morning!! to them with excited tones. It was fun HAhA.

We visited the Ship Museum, cost us RM3 (for students/Malaysian citizens). Take pictures and feeling like pirates in Pirates of Caribbean (or maybe of Straits Malacca HAHA). I oooh-ed at british accent here and there, feeling fresh about it HAhA (have i've been trapped too much in my college? Ahahaha) It's my escapee journey anyway. I called Biha-chan and asked if we could meet.

Muzium Samudera (Ship Museum)

Inside dock @ Muzium Samudera

It's too hot at this time! HAHA

So we head back to Dataran Pahlawan. Watch an Indonesian kid getting excited over Upin Ipin, when i remember how it is so popular among Indonesian when i was in Jakarta last year. I excitedly told friend "lets head back, i want to see Upin Ipin too!" So we went back to event, Upin Ipin already up on stage!! Ahhh i want to be kid too!

Upin Ipin

We move to left side of stage (but it's still so hot and no shadow). My friend: eh tu bukan Liza Hanim? Me: yeah she perform too. I know it since earlier. (I forgot i dragged her, she doesn't know the tentative) But her turn already over, we missed it. Me: you want to take picture with her? Friend: seganlah. Me: serius taknak? . But after awhile, kakLiza walked infront of us to take picture of her son on stage. She greeted us 1st "Nak tangkap gambar anak jap" then smiled.

When she's done, i told her "kak Liza, nak tangkap gambar boleh?" K.Liza,"boleh,boleh~kejap nak betulkan tudung ni ha" me:"meh saya tolong pegang barang tu". She fixed her shawl and my friend did wefie. K.Liza "eh terima kasih kena tolong pegang barang pulak. Lupa akak" me: takpe :). After k.Liza walked away, friend: aku macam starstruck. Ni baru Liza Hanim, belum Yuna lagi. Me: aku taktau kenapa aku boleh casual macam tu HAHAHA.

Feeling adik-beradik dengan Liza Hanim

We dance chicken dance together with upin ipin and crowd. It was fun being silly and just enjoying chicken dance as it is. Alvin's story will be in PART 2. Met k.Biha and took picture. Spazzing mode when i saw her HAHA rindu sangat kat k.Biha yang comel.

with k.Biha @ Bihachan

After event end, we head to Dataran Pahlawan mall & tried to figure out the next plan. I'm sorry to my friend cause i dragged her without planning well. So we end up just sitting at AnW for about 2 hours (cause legs feel like breaking). We walked around the park outside, took few pictures then waiting for bus (after struggling on where should we wait for the bus,walking on extremely hot weather).

Park outside mall

replica @ park

Ramen while killing time @ Dataran Pahlawan Mall

In bus, i saw the beach from far, thinking i would love to be back in Melaka. We bought ticket back to SP, night tix (RM60?) and waited in Melaka Sentral, from 5pm until our bus, 10pm if not mistaken, watching WGM and random youtube vids to kill time. Reached SP the next morning & having legs pain for 2 day /cry/.

Straits Malacca from inside bus

P/s: my lecturer was shocked when she saw me in canteen the next day, because i met her in bus station before i went to Melaka. Yes i can be in Melaka in a day, in Kedah the next day HAHA -end-

a very meaningful trip, and i love it. What came across my mind during Melaka, i love it when i can sujood, performing salah on many beautiful places Allah has created. Such a wonderful feeling. Penang trip should be next. Yana please don't be lazy and write it. Love: yanaliyana.

Mission 2.0: Alvin in Changlun

I realized a poster posted up on Alvin's fb. As usual i look up for event in KL. Schedule on Monday caught my eyes. Was like "eyhh why u have event on Monday? Weird" so i skip the bottom,look at the upmost. Taiping.

Cannot. Mum's birthday. Down, AmanJaya Mall. 26th Oct. AmanJaya? Sg.Petani? OMG IT'S ONLY 10MINUTES FROM COLLEGE OK I WANT TO GO!!! 4.00pm ok check, no class. Then ask roommate: you have class on Sunday? Alvin gonna come to AmanJaya Mall. And gone us crazy over the fact for the whole week. But turn out friend has MQA on sunday.evening.(dun ask me what's MQA i also dunno. Assume she has class). 

On d-day (i was in zombie mode+tired cause i just arrived Sg.Petani from Selangor that very morning 5am). Class blablabla. Then 4pm. Friend still didn't finish class. I was worried because Alvin has another schedule after that, Changlun on 8.30pm. Sure the AmanJaya event will start early. So i texted friend: if your class doesn't end on 4.15pm,i go alone by motorcycle. She texted back: wait for me.

So off us together to AmanJaya Mall,bit late, i think we arrived at 4.40pm? Then we bumped on staffs at elevator,carrying stuffs. Unlucky, both of us in total zombie mode, we didn't ask staffs about the event. We asked pakguard,then he said there's van on front door. But we only catch few fans with posters and they said Alvin left. ToT /heartbroken/ .me to friend: there're 3 choices right now. One,totally give up. Two,we go to Penang tomorrow. But i can't cause i have another plan tomorrow. Three, we kejar Changlun schedule.

And we agreed on no.3. Me: kerja gila again. Friend drove so fast to Changlun that it took only 40/50minutes to arrive (the journey was so straight but lucky we're on right track. I've never been to Changlun before). Saw poster and i confirmed to friend we're on right place. We arrived at 6.30. Event starts at 8.30. Wahhh so sleepy waiting. While friend praying, 2 people sat at the place, and i start a convo with 1 of them. Turn out Alys is a fan of Alvin since 2009. Four of us kill our time with selfies and just poking each other. 7pm+ staffs arrived. We wait again until 8.30pm. I want to sleep but i can't. 

-event starts. Random writing- 

mc asked me if we understand Chinese or from Chinese school. Nope. Both not. But we still listen to Chinese songs once in a while (actually i watch many dramas and movies, which have soundtracks so..yeah) and i answered the track i love the most from Perfect is track no.2. (I can't even pronounce the title correctly otl i'm sorry). When Alvin finally appear, i just "hiii" him, i dunno if he remember me at that time. Remember la kot? Autocity you call me up on stage. 

Immediately start 1st song. Song that my friend likes the most. In the middle, Alvin: Dari mana ni? Me n friend: Sg.Petani!!! Alvin: wahh jauhnya. (Dalam hati: ye la tak sempat kejar event yang dekat SP). Changing few glances and angkat kening with Alvin when i sing-along to his song. Alvin you nervous eh?

Perfect album-1st track

Ok after 1st song, actually i want to lift up my signboard: "shaurah junee aya shuhada thinthing said they miss you" but it's already mess up alot. So i try to write it back, on the black part of board with chalk-marker. Then Alvin sakat(tease?) me. "Tulis ape tu? Tak nampak pun. Tak nampak lansung. Kena tukar highlight tu~" kan dah keluar muka puffing ikan buntal..tak sempat nak balas apa-apa. saje je kan Alvin.. 

ok proceed to talk-part. Alvin introduced Perfect Album. And also his movie 3 Brothers. Will be on cinema 11.12.14. Good job bro in using 3 languages explaining.

Perfect (talk part + promote 3 Brothers)

 Then proceed to 2nd song. My fav. Love how you always got into best emotion while singing this song. I took out my self-made 'tissue-flower' in the middle of song, then send signals to staffs if i can give Alvin the 'rose', got their permission and gave rose to Alvin. Hoyeahh did you blush? Hihihi at that time i found you're still nervous. But great work in hiding it behind that perfect singing^^

Perfect album-2nd track

so singing part ended. Should be game part+fansign. Friend insist on me when i don't want (i don't want to sing or things like that. Enough in Autocity i almost die alone on stage). But games change to Question session instead. I don't understand the question asked to Tracy(is that her name?) because in Chinese. Then my part, alvin starts with: stress eh dengan Alvin? Me:? Alvin: tu tweet stress..? Me:-tutup muka when i realized you read my tweet when i don't even 'mention' u.- 

Proceed Alvin: how well do you know Alvin? (Alvin:this is not the question) me: how well? How to measure...how well? I..dunno) alvin: you dunno about me right..? Ok what's my favourite colour? Me: ...blue? Alvin: No.. mc:his coat colour. Me: purple? Alvin: err ok correct. (Is it actually the right answer? You're trying to say my tudung colour eh,at that time?). I got poster, signed-picket and portable backpack. I managed to say (after my question-answer part) "Aya and Shaurah said they miss you". Alvin: eyyy tak datang pun, merajuklah. But you're laughing. Far ok. Kesian diorang susah nak datang. Friend don't want to answer question. Ok @.@.

-got video,but has to crop my face 1st-

Oh we requested Alvin to sing a malay song. I suggest song that Alvin sang on radio, Dafi-Bila Terasa Rindu. I almost beg him to sing. Alvin: nyanyi dengan Alvin kat depan ni (to me) me: Dun want. (I am shy). Me: Even 1 line. chorus pun boleh. Alvin: masalahnye chorus pun tak ingat LOL then Alvin took out his phone to check the lyrics. Mc: ok sekarang Alvin nak nyanyi lagu Melayu. Alvin: eh satu line je,jangan la macam tu (WE FIND THIS VERY CUTE *.*) Alvin:nyanyi sama-sama eh. Me:/gives assuring nods/ So Alvin sang 2 verse of the song,including the chorus. Of course la sedap! (Plus i always like Dafi since AF so i remember his song) Well done to myself for the success haha. Alvin: if you want Alvin to sing Malay song, request to RAM ENT. Write to them so many times. Me: ok~! Heeee

Alvin-Bila Terasa Rindu

-fansign- 

Alvin suddenly sat at my friend's chair (after we got up to stand) for fansign. Like a boss sitting there. Me: kat sini? Here? Alvin: -nod few times- ooook~ mc: here la ok, you can sit besides him and take pictures. But i thought "that would be hard for Alvin to sign cds and posters without table" and i was right. It's hard kan Alvin? I help holding the want-to-fold posters and give book to Alvin (lapik) so he can sign the picket/fan better. My friend bought the album. Got it signed. On poster: to yana &ika. Perfect Reunion Mission (lol because we told alvin it's our mission to get the poster signed like that XD) me: you remember right? Perfect Runaway? Alvin: -sambil sign- Autocity kan? Hihi nasib ingat.

Took pictures with Alvin (the picture of only us both is too shameful. Me la. U always handsome Alvin) glad that there's another better photo we took,us 3 standing. But i crop my friend & post on instagram i'm a bad friend sorry. Took photo with mc and staff too. so time to bid goodbye, we bid goodbye to our 2 new friends (thank you for the event we got new friends) and faster we catch up on Alvin going down the mall with 1 staff. Me: Alvin! Byeee (we talked about coming from SP and we're late because of class) staff: be careful on the way back ok? Text or whatsapp or pm us on fb,tell u have safely arrived. Alvin will reply himself. Me: ok i'll pm fb later. Me to Alvin: eyyy you read my tweets right..? You will know when i've arrived~ Alvin: i stalk twitter (bahahaha kantoi) (I'm seriously touched by the concern of staffs about our safety. So thankful. Thank you so much) . 

-end- 

friend drove back so fast, but not as fast cause we have to go through insane rain like cats and dogs and limited vision on road. Then arrived SP, report safely arrived, and continue doing my work after drenched in rain. 

P/s: use that tiger soft toy wisely hahaha so that later i can give more (kalau cukup duit lah :p) Thank you so much for the event, you're welcome (for thank-you-for-coming) and congratulations Alvin for going through this event in quite far land where you're less known. But that's the growing part of you right? I'm proud you did it. And i hope we'll meet again. All the best for 3 Brothers!! "

.... ? -A Day When I Questioned even The Post Title-

As I walk to the mirror, tears still dripping off my eyes~
Then i look into the mirror, swollen eyes, red nose,
thinking "how miserable i look.."

Then i put on a smile..
Bigger..
And bigger..
Then a tiny laugh..
..beautiful...

Indeed, even when crying, a smile is still beautiful..
I choose that beautiful thing..

And settled on: A smile is alright with a cry,
and a cry is alright with a smile

Do they exist around you?

What? Who? Where?

Yes more questions. My favourite. Haha. It's for WHO this time. This post will be about drama. Korean drama to be exact. This round, I'll highlight this two dramas: "What's Up"(2010?) and recent "Good Doctor"(2013).

These two dramas have become my favorites so far, in Korean drama league (I always like Japanese dramas better, because they contain lots of meaningful messages. Most of I've watched.) WU and GD have few similarities, in term of the effects on me. -This gonna be a long post ahead-

Good Doctor first. This drama revolves around kids' surgeries. Main character: Autistic child, soon still an autistic grown up. But a doctor. Amazing thing. Subhanallah. It's so inspiring I have to give standing ovation for this drama. Main thing, it tugs my heart. How people try to survive in community. DO PEOPLE LIKE THIS EXIST AROUND YOU?

Maybe it exist in you, yourself. We are different. We try to learn to accept differences in every way we can. That's maturity. Kids are born with the mentality of "everyone is same like me" (learned it in Psychology of Child) Don't get mad if your nephew trying to get you playing Ultraman with him. He thinks you like it just like him. -correct me if I'm wrong- So to accept the fact that not everyone is the same like you is maturity. Learn to treat differences well is another level.

Many people realized this when watching Good Doctor. Good. On the other side, the thing i want to highlight is people around Shi On (main character in GD). Particularly, the professor,Kim Do Han. Why him? He's smart, become a professor at young age. Not a new thing. BUT! He gives so many smack-this-in-your-mind advises up to the point that it amused me. Do people like this exist around YOU? Walk around and gives wise advises to you? If they exist around you, be very grateful. VERY grateful. You might focus on Shi On the whole drama, still, learn how the character develop throughout the drama. There are many people that helped the process. That's what happened in our life too, i think. Thank them. You never know how much they actually gave you.

Shi-on asks whether he should forgive someone if they admit their wrongs.

It depends on the person, Do-han tells him—if they’re looking to clear their own guilty conscience, then no, but it’s okay if it’s sincere. Shi-on says he isn’t sure, so Do-han tells him that it’s simple: just take a look at how they’ve lived their lives afterward. 

—Quoted from dramabeans (Good Doctor ep 17)

"It's simple..." he says. I was utterly amused at this. Deduction that isn't easily you can come up with in short time. The way he said it was very confident too. Life lesson. Just thrown to you simply. ok, drama. I get it. Still, that is WHY i asked the question in the 1st place. If you meet a person or people like this, you need to be grateful (especially if the person is young).

The same thing goes to the 2nd drama, "What's Up". This one, it's more obvious. More of it when you find it in ONE character. When i finished this drama, I went through a thinking process of things I get from the drama. (This drama is quite -dangerous i would say- for Muslims to watch. It's a musical drama. Beware of some songs. Understand the lyrics before singing it. I know the OSTs are all great. But might go against our belief. I'm not being racist or something, just a reminder). It's a great drama though. Take the good things. One of the reason why i took a lot of time before finishing this post: youtube-walking for too long LOL

This is one of the song that's really soothing. About achieving dream? Watch this drama with subtitles. I think they put subtitles while they sing too.

Again i trail off from main topic. This drama has lots of characters, with different stories & backgrounds. AGAIN the Professor in this drama caught my attention. Why this shabby character being brought up? Because he spits life lessons to his students like some kind of dictionary-of-life he is. Episode after episode. It's even so many to be quoted. Sounds like I'm hating it?

Not really. It's good. It puts me into lots of thinking & reflections to my own life. But i find it absurd for a character to be this wise (again, not-so-old for me). I didn't mean that you have to be old to be wise & give life lesson to others. But it still amused me. Because it's true, all he said. I didn't have arguments. Too perfect. Hence the question is asked again. Do a walking-life-dictionary like this appear & live around you? I wonder~

So this is actually a 'wondering' post. I may actually have encountered people like the two professors, in my life, but I'm not paying enough attention. Life lessons. Learn it from people, refer it back to Al-Quran. That's the ultimate guidance. Because we, human, are weak creatures. We need other people to show us the path. Which Allah directs people to us to help find the right path. Thank people. Thank Allah.

-yanaliyana-