I can say Henley Hii is my ideal type right? cough
whenifirstsawhiminreallifeitwasconfirmed
cough. And that reply on ig got me smiling ear to ear! I'm sorry i'm just a mere fan but he seems so considerate!
And i won't post this one on twitter, in case Alvin will directed here *i doubt he reads any of my entry, except maybe the one i linked him long ago*
I don't know why i'm too conscious with Alvin, as if it will hurt him if i spazz over other male artists. Because i feel like you're vulnerable. Just like Cha Hakyeon of VIXX. You care too much, you'll hurt as much. But both of you are so loving, and strong.
Heh talking like i know him on other level, when i'm just a fan who he happened to remember my name, maybe because i mentioned him a lot on twitter. Siapalah aku, only a person who can wish you the best from far. Dah Yana jangan nak melo sangat. Over.
Anyway, i started to think this blog served more as a diary to me, lately. Maybe because i'm lonely? Or 'lonely' might not be the right word. I prefer 'I had more, lots of time for myself'.
I had this sentence echoes for me a lot today, delivered by my best friend Pah, whom i missed alot, i might cry. I told her almost 90% about what happened to me when i change my staying place to current one, how i search for room/house to rent by myself, searching and communicating with society without any help of acquaintance, going to school alone, enduring things alone. This got hammered in my mind:
Yana dah dewasa.. (You've grown up..)
She sounds like a proudmomfriend through the phone. And I'm so overwhelmed by that comment. Until this very second. I miss you. REALLY.
That was the 1st time i received such comment, even i'm the type to travel alone (and far) many times, people just called me brave. Never have i received: you're grown up now.
But then, I'm having life problem right now, and i don't know how to solve it. 24 years old, but i'm still lost. Daughter of my tenant came today, saying when she's my age, she already got married. I must be still a very young person in her eyes (her daughter called me 'kakak' -sis- when i think i should be her makcik level already)
Coincidentally, i'm on episode of Twenty Again where Minsoo asked: do i really am adult right now? (He portrays 20yo boy). Which had me asking myself the same question. The ever-so-overthinking-about-drama of Yana. Heh. I don't have answer. Yet.
I don't know how to end this post, because it's a mix up of random things today. Have a great day, Self! -Yana-
